The Craziness that is Mama Puckerman
by NoahPuckermansWifey
Summary: From puckrachel Drabble Meme over on LiveJournal. Prompt: "Step away from the baby clothes." Enjoy!


So basically, ever since his wedding to Rachel just a few months ago, his mother has been going crazy with asking when they're going to give her grandchildren [when Aviva Puckerman wanted something, she bugged the fuck out of you until she got it; and she wanted that grandchild.] Admittedly they did want to have a baby soon, but they had agreed when they were still engaged that they would try for a baby after their one year wedding anniversary. They both wanted to have a year to just be a married couple since they got married pretty damn young [she's twenty one and he's twenty two.]

Everyone else completely understands why they want to wait, even his and Rachel's fans [she was an up and coming actress and he was a singer/songwriter.] Everyone except for his batshit crazy ma that is. She was absolutely furious when she realized that she would probably have to wait almost two whole years until she got her grandbaby. Which they had both expected actually because of the way she reacted when they informed her that Rachel would be Rachel Berry-Puckerman instead of just Rachel Puckerman. His ma totally couldn't [wouldn't] understand the fact that Rachel was an only child and this was her only way of keeping her family name going [plus she was already known and Rachel Berry to all of her fans and she'd just rather not confuse them with the name change.]

Anyways, a few weeks ago Aviva started to buy baby things. She thought she was being sneaky as fuck by only buying one or two pieces at a time and keeping them all at her house but Rachel and Puck were both onto her. She subscribed to a bunch of baby catalogues, parenting magazines and bought a shitload of baby name books, parenting books and pregnancy books and _just happened _to forget them every time she visited them. It pissed Puck off like no other and made Rachel all insecure and shit thinking that the older woman was going to kill her in her sleep or even worse _hate _her if she didn't get fucking pregnant, like, yesterday. See, Puck doesn't take well to people hurting his wife in any way [which is pretty fatal considering the fact that they're famous and in the public eye all the goddamn time; Rachel just thanks Yahweh every second of every day that she's seen as America's sweetheart to the public and the media and that no paparazzi has ever written anything bad about her] so his mom making Rachel feel like shit is just _not fucking kosher. _

One day Rachel and Santana [who's now her best friend and manager/publicist, which was freaky as fuck in the beginning but now he's glad because she looks out for his girl] decide that they just have to go shopping and drag Puck and Matt [who's San's husband and bitch] with them. They guys go without argument because who are they to disagree if it makes their women so damn happy? As they're walking past the _Baby Gap_ to go to the other side of the mall where the _Frederick's of Hollywood_ is, they all just happen to chance a glance inside the store. All the fucking [adorable as hell] baby clothes have the girls cooing and shit until they look deeper into the store and see none other than Aviva and her daughter, Arin, looking at clothes for newborns. Arin looks like she definitely wants to be anywhere but where she was right now and Aviva looks like Hanukkah has come early this year.

"Oh fuck no," Puck mutters angrily as he grasps Rachel's hand [gently cause even though he's pissed beyond fucking belief he never, ever takes his anger out at Rachel in any way, especially never to raise a hand at her] and starts toward the entrance of the store.

Rachel is in such shock that she doesn't say anything about him dragging her to confront his mother even though she tries to avoid confrontation with the woman under any and all circumstances. Santana and Matt follow both of them just in case [and they both know this is bound to get entertaining.]

"Ma, what in the fucking hell do you think you're fucking doing," Puck whisper yells, mindful of all of the other people in the store who have just recognized them. "Why the fuck are you buying baby clothes? Rachel's not evening fucking pregnant yet."

To her credit Aviva doesn't flinch once while her son is berating her. Arin, on the other hand, jumps when she hears her big brother's voice and then runs to Rachel's side for protection from her mother. Aviva slowly turns around to face her son and gives him this slow, sort of wicked smile on her face that makes Puck shiver slightly in fear.

"Not yet, but she will be soon," she says with the signature Puckerman smirk on her face.

Puck, Rachel, Santana, Matt and Arin all stare at her shocked for a moment before one of them recovers. It's Santana unsurprisingly but she is quickly followed by the other as she speaks up.

"Aviva," she says slowly, like she's speaking to a child, "step away from the baby clothes."

When the older woman makes no move to step back like she was asked to, Rachel says, "Aviva, if you do, Noah and I will get started on those babies soon" with her fingers crossed tightly behind her back.

Needless to say, Aviva drops the baby clothes and walks out of the store leaving them all behind. She'll make sure Rachel keeps her promise. She _needs_ those grandbabies more than anything else in the world.


End file.
